Carol and Steve were a typical couple. Their dream had always been to live their lives the best they could, to work hard, to be kind to one another, and to try to save for their future the best they knew how. While life was very challenging at times they tried to think positively and grow from their experiences. They respected their parents and believed that they always had the best interest in mind for them.
As Carol and Steve watched their own children grow into responsible loving parents, they also watched their own parents grow older. There were fleeting thoughts about the idea of them passing away one day but they quickly put this out of their minds, not wanting to think about them getting sick and possibly being unable to care for themselves. Carol and Steve had always pledged that since their parents took such good care of them growing up, they would definitely take care of their parents whenever they needed them, no matter what.
That day of needing to care for their parents came sooner than they had anticipated. One day Steve received a call from his parent’s house stating that his mother just fell and they were rushing her to the hospital. Steve was frantic not knowing what to think as he left his job that day. He was thinking the worst when he met Carol at the hospital; they were shaking with anxiety as the social worker came to talk to them. Steve and Carol learned that Steve’s mom broke her hip; they were told that unless 24-hour care can be provided for her she could not stay at her home. Steve’s dad lived at home too, but had been having some memory issues for a while; Steve and Carol knew he would be unable to care for Steve’s mom.
Steve and Carol had so many things going on in their lives and this could not have happened at a worse time. They gave it much thought, talked to other family members, and wondered what they should do. The social worker mentioned that she thought a nursing home would be helpful for Steve’s mom. At first, Steve and Carol totally dismissed the idea of a nursing home. They also had to consider reality, though. They had bills to pay and other family members who were counting on them. Steve and Carol felt defeated, ashamed and very confused.
Steve’s mom told them that she did not need to go to a nursing home and that she and Steve’s dad worked hard to have a good retirement and to provide an inheritance for them. She did not want it spent on a nursing home. She told them over and over again that she and Steve’s dad could manage just fine. Steve and Carol decide that they would have their parents move in with them; they arrange for some in-home nursing care for times when they couldn’t be present. It wasn’t long before they realize this arrangement was not working. Steve’s mom fell often and it was very difficult to pick her up; giving showers was almost impossible, especially while trying to maintain her dignity. Steve’s dad was getting worse and he was not able to assist with his wife’s care or his own.
Steve and Carol were at their wit’s end when a close friend talked with them about considering a nursing home. She explains that there is a skilled nursing and residential care facility in Troy called Troy Manor and said she would go with them to tour the facility.
The day of the tour arrived and their hearts were beating not knowing what to expect as they walked through the front door. To their surprise they found it was nicely decorated, activities were offered often, meals were served on a regular basis, the staff was very friendly and the residents living there were very welcoming. They learned there are rooms for assisted living, therapy and full nursing care if needed. They also learned that if their parents needed more care in the future they would not have to move to another facility, but could simply move to another room right within the same building, which was very comforting. The nursing staff administered medicine, gave showers, helped with dressing, and assisted at mealtimes and more. They also met the two social workers (both named Lisa!) who help with all the resident and family needs as often as they are needed.
That night Steve and Carol found that their hearts had stopped racing and they were beginning to feel more comfortable about this possible transition for Steve’s mom, and possibly for his dad as well. They talked to their parents in depth and explain the reasons why they thought it would be best for them to move to the nursing home. They explained that while they certainly would rather they were able to live in their own home, it is just not possible right now and they feel this is the best solution. They assured their parents they would be cared for and they could visit them, as often and whenever they would like.
The scenario above (while a fictional story) happens much more than you might realize. The staff at Troy Manor does not want you to feel lost, alone or ashamed. Let them help you if you are experiencing a challenge like the one described in this article. Call the social workers at 636-528-8446 or just stop in for a tour. They would love to talk with you and discuss how they can help care for your loved ones.