I was tingling with excitement when I read the email’s subject line: National Inventors Hall of Fame.

On a daily basis, I receive 100-200 emails, many of which are press releases. A vast majority (97 percent) of those emails are either A: sent in bulk, B: from outside of Lincoln County, C: absurd or boring, or D: some combination of the previous three.

But the Inventor’s Hall of Fame, with a subhead indicating one inductee is from Missouri? Color me intrigued.

What was I going to find inside this press release? The inventor of the twinkie getting honored? A guy who came up with a toaster that can boil eggs at the same time? A woman fashion designer who apparently unlocked the secret of pants with functional pockets?

“Seventeen innovation pioneers whose inventions range from cancer treatments to satellite-based imaging will be honored in the 2025 class of National Inventors Hall of Fame Inductees,” the press release read.

Oh boy. Cancer treatments and satellites. Dang. This sounds serious. I’m already expecting I’m not going to see the word “kazoo” or “yo-yo” in this press release.

After another paragraph that contained phrases like “amazing visionaries” and “changed the world,” I truly suspected this press release was going to be much more solemn than my initial attitude.

A quick glance at the inductees confirmed my worst fears:

“John R. Adler Jr. – CyberKnife Stereotactic Radiosurgery. Neurosurgeon John Adler invented the CyberKnife stereotactic radiosurgery (SRS) system, which enabled precision robotic, image-guided therapeutic radiation without skeletal fixation.”

So we got a neurosurgeon, a robot and a knife to lead off. And I would have been impressed with the clapper that turns your lights off and on.

“James Fujimoto, David Huang and Eric Swanson: Optical Coherence Tomography (OCT)”

Yeah, I’m lost now. No idea what they are talking about. Could be making something up. But according to the press release, “optical coherence tomography” is “a method for imaging subsurface structure of biological tissue in unprecedented detail.”

Okay.

Barney Graham and Jason McLellan: Structure-Based Vaccine Design

Oh boy, the Missouri guy, Barney Graham. What about him? Maybe he’ll be our common guy who came up with a singing fish.

“Immunologist and virologist Barney Graham and structural biologist Jason McLellan used structure-based vaccine design ..” I think we can stop there. Trust me when I say it doesn’t end with a fish.

The rest of the honored inventors were as impressive as their achievements and accomplishments, including something called “service-oriented architecture,” environment-friendly pesticides and heart stents.

Good stuff there. Good and boring.

I hope the coffee is flowing at that induction ceremony.

There is a little more fun in the inventions of those honored posthumously, including innovators of roller coasters, the surfboard and a horse-drawn carriage.

The press release did pique my interest enough to look into the Inventors Hall of Fame a little closer to determine if their honorees are always this … serious.

Founded in 1973, with the COVID-induced break in 2021, this will be the 51st class inducted.

The first class was unique in multiple ways as it remains the lone, one-member class: Thomas Edison.

The inventor of the phonograph, electric lighting and motion pictures truly is in a class of his own.

The next year, Alexander Graham Bell and Eli Whitney, along with the inventors of the transistor came on board.

Once could argue though the most impressive class came in 1975 with Samuel Morse (telegraph), Nikola Tesla (induction motor) the Wright brothers (airplane), William Coolidge (x-ray tube) and Guglieimo Marconi (radio) joining the hall.

With so many years and so many influential inventions, household names were added yearly.

Charles Goodyear (1976), George Eastman (1977), Louis Pasteur (1978) and Jay Forrester (1979) rounded out the 1970s for their work in vulcanizing rubber, photography, pasteurization and inventing computer memory.

The 1980s had a few big names like Henry Ford and John Deere, but the achievements were still impressive, including FM radio, the helicopter, television, an artificial heart and most importantly … air conditioning.

After nearly 20 years, the big names, and the big inventions had largely been recognized when the 1990s rolled around. You could notice the selection committee started reaching just a little more.

Sure, we had still had the inventor of penicillin and a vaccine for Hepatitis B, but we were also honoring the guy who came up with the 8-track player. Really? The 8-track? What’s next, bell-bottoms and hair spray?

The induction committee fully leaned into the quantity over quality in the in the mid-2000s. After previous classes of 5-15, 79 inventors were honored in 2006 followed by 56 the next year.

The numbers have returned to normal with 17 honorees this year, and every once in a while, the committee still finds a hidden gem, like the guy who invented drywall (2017 inductee) and the wheelchair (2023).

A couple things missing is the invention of specific foods, so whoever came up with the twinkie, or Big Mac, or cheesesteak isn’t getting recognized.

The biggest absence though? Ben Franklin. Not sure how the guy who invented lightning rods, bifocals, a catheter, swim fins and a glass armonica is left out when Mr. 8-track is let in.

Time to fill out a nomination form.

Gregory Orear is the General Manager and Editor of the Lincoln County Journal, Elsberry Democrat and Troy Free Press. He once invented a sandwich with mustard, pickles and peanut butter that didn’t turn out so well. He can be reached at gorear@cherryroadmedia.com.